Yet, the thought prompts me to daydream that it is an actual possibility. Let's say Josh gets the job that he has been interviewing for and does not have to start until the end of March. We could go to Hawaii in March...right? And our parents are each scheduled for visits in March, which covers us on that end. Yes, I have put a lot of thought into this. I have even picked out the dates, checked the flights, and selected the resort. Fingers crossed that my daydream comes true...not just for the vacation, but for the security of Josh having a job!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
If I Had $2000...
Josh teased me the other day by telling me about a vacation we could take to Maui in March for $2000, including flights. That was just cruel. Now all I can think about is this hypothetical vacation and the wardrobe needed to make it perfect (both for myself and for Jared). Now, $2000 is and isn't a lot of money. Technically, we could spend the money and still have enough money in the bank to pay our mortgage for the next 3 years. However, given neither of us are employed it would just be plain irresponsible. Not to mention, our parents would kill us for taking Jared to Hawaii before we brought him home to Maryland.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Jared Gregory Weiner - November 26, 2008
It has been two months since Jared was born and it sounds cliche, but I cannot remember life before the little guy. As mushy as it sounds, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. 6 lbs and 19 inches of pure joy. The best part - he is a great sleeper. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that behind Jared and my husband Josh, the next thing on the list of things I love is sleep. I love to nap, I love to get a full 10 hours on the weekend, but I digress...
2 weeks after Jared was born, Josh was laid off. We were expecting it - he worked for Citi - no need to say anything further about that. We became the prototypical household of the new economy - a family of three with zero income. However, don't cry for us yet. Thanks to a generous package from Citi and the foresight of my frugal husband, we are fine for at least 3+ years. Although, of course, we hope it will not take that long for us to become employed. Having savings is wonderful, depleting it is not.
While it sounds like a terrible thing, the timing could not be better. Josh and I get to spend all of our time with Jared, which is priceless. Best part, not suffering from the typical sleep deprivation of new parents! We alternate the nighttime feedings, so each of us is getting at least 10 hours per night (unless you are Josh, who is a nightowl).
So our sense of normal has changed forever. But our spirits are high, our love for Jared is immense, and we know how lucky we truly are.
2 weeks after Jared was born, Josh was laid off. We were expecting it - he worked for Citi - no need to say anything further about that. We became the prototypical household of the new economy - a family of three with zero income. However, don't cry for us yet. Thanks to a generous package from Citi and the foresight of my frugal husband, we are fine for at least 3+ years. Although, of course, we hope it will not take that long for us to become employed. Having savings is wonderful, depleting it is not.
While it sounds like a terrible thing, the timing could not be better. Josh and I get to spend all of our time with Jared, which is priceless. Best part, not suffering from the typical sleep deprivation of new parents! We alternate the nighttime feedings, so each of us is getting at least 10 hours per night (unless you are Josh, who is a nightowl).
So our sense of normal has changed forever. But our spirits are high, our love for Jared is immense, and we know how lucky we truly are.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Why Am I Home on a Wednesday?
It was 9:00 on Monday, October 6, 2008, when I got the call. Per usual, I had arrived at work at 8:30, was the first one in the office, and was in the process of going through my emails and creating my daily "To Do" list. So the fact that M (head of the office...a cross between a neanderthal and Michael Scott on "The Office") was calling me and summoning me to his office was a surprise. He usually does not roll in until around 9:15. Since I have only been called in his office 3-4 times, and as far as I knew all he did all day was make inappropriate/uncomfortable comments, search on Match.com for potential dates, and push off work on other people, I knew something was up.
Before I stormed out of the office, I managed to get two point across to the firing squad:
1) I felt like I was deceived from the beginning about the position. M had told me that the client was tough, but the relationship was stable. He NEVER communicated that the relationship was, in fact, adversarial. After a month on the job I could have told him that if there was a regime change (which there was) we would be up for review.
2) Who the hell lets someone go when they are 7 months pregnant? Do they think I can go interview for new jobs in my current condition? Will someone hire me, let me work for a few weeks and then take maternity leave until March? Where is the compassion? I am supposed to be avoiding stress and this just created more.
And storm out of the office I did. I had to call my husband. I wanted to start crying, but I did not want to do it in front of them. When Josh answered his phone, I broke down. I felt like I had failed him and let our family down. This was not our plan. I was supposed to work until my due date and then return to my job after 12 weeks of leave. Josh works for Citigroup - if anyone was going to lose their job, we thought it would be him.
I have never heard Josh so shocked and angry at the same time. I thought he was going to hail a taxi right then, come down to my office, and start throwing punches. He was appalled at the whole situation - how dare they do this to his wife when she is pregnant, how could they make me work until Nov 14, and the timing just seemed too suspicious. Just one week earlier I had sent an email to HR Lady from NY asking her some questions about my maternity leave. These questions were answered with she needed to do some research and get back to me. Additionally, my direct manager, on maternity leave herself, was due back in the office on Nov 10. Very convenient if you ask me.
I had to get out of there. I had to go home. My pride was hurt, ego bruised, and thoughts completely clouded. Another person on my team was let go that day - so I grabbed her and we headed out. Since I could not drink, the only thing that would make me feel better was cupcakes. Specifically, Sweet Mandy B's cupcakes.
Now, realistically and intellectually, I knew everything would be ok. With severance and the vacation days I had not taken I would be paid through my due date. And my maternity leave was pretty much unpaid - so HR Lady from NY was right - I could apply for unemployment which would give us some income when we had already expected not to get income. However, I was scared, hurt, and demoralized. And, the cherry on top was the fact that I had to get up the next morning and every weekday morning for the next 6 weeks and go to that job. So after some long talks with Josh, pep talks from my incredible family, and a few cupcakes, I went to bed and ended this terrible day.
The next morning I went to work, on time, like the typical "good girl" that I am. The first thing I saw was the Friday breakfast calendar. Our office rotated who was responsible for bringing breakfast to the Friday status meetings. Lately, these "informative" meetings have been dedicated to planning the holiday party - debating which would be more fun, The 80's Prom or Tony and Tina's Wedding. My vote was neither. As luck would have it, my turn was the Friday after this one. So I wrote a polite note to the person in charge of the calendar, copying M, saying that I would not be participating in the meetings any more and she should reassign breakfast to someone else. I just did not think it was necessary nor appropriate.
The thought of missed donuts sent M directly to my office. He was angry. Why did I think it was appropriate for me not to participate in these meetings for the next 6 weeks? I was supposed to be functioning as a full staff member and he did not want me to become a "cancer" in the office. I told him that I was still angry - too angry to actually speak to him. He did not seem to understand why I was angry and said that I had today to be angry, but then I had to get over it. If I did not, then they would have to rethink the terms of my separation package. Hmm, was he threatening me? I think so. Did he really expect me to be fine with everything 24 hours after he let me go? I suppose so - this is the man who after I told him that I was pregnant responded "well, I am getting a divorce."
With Josh's help (who besides being my best friend is a fabulous writer, especially when it comes to letters), I carefully crafted an email to HR Lady from NY asking her for some of the terms in writing and then describing the morning's altercation to her. She called me, we talked for a bit and then she said that she would speak to M for me. I told her that I really had no idea what my responsibilities were and I did not feel comfortable going to M at this point to talk to him.
After a day of trying to sort through my office, HR Lady from NY got back to me. She spoke to M and it was determined that this was an uncomfortable situation. Therefore, I did not need to report to work starting tomorrow, I would still be paid through Nov 14, I would still get severance, and would still be paid for my unused vacation days.
So kids, that is how I became a housewife - something I never, ever imagined I would be.
Before I stormed out of the office, I managed to get two point across to the firing squad:
1) I felt like I was deceived from the beginning about the position. M had told me that the client was tough, but the relationship was stable. He NEVER communicated that the relationship was, in fact, adversarial. After a month on the job I could have told him that if there was a regime change (which there was) we would be up for review.
2) Who the hell lets someone go when they are 7 months pregnant? Do they think I can go interview for new jobs in my current condition? Will someone hire me, let me work for a few weeks and then take maternity leave until March? Where is the compassion? I am supposed to be avoiding stress and this just created more.
And storm out of the office I did. I had to call my husband. I wanted to start crying, but I did not want to do it in front of them. When Josh answered his phone, I broke down. I felt like I had failed him and let our family down. This was not our plan. I was supposed to work until my due date and then return to my job after 12 weeks of leave. Josh works for Citigroup - if anyone was going to lose their job, we thought it would be him.
I have never heard Josh so shocked and angry at the same time. I thought he was going to hail a taxi right then, come down to my office, and start throwing punches. He was appalled at the whole situation - how dare they do this to his wife when she is pregnant, how could they make me work until Nov 14, and the timing just seemed too suspicious. Just one week earlier I had sent an email to HR Lady from NY asking her some questions about my maternity leave. These questions were answered with she needed to do some research and get back to me. Additionally, my direct manager, on maternity leave herself, was due back in the office on Nov 10. Very convenient if you ask me.
I had to get out of there. I had to go home. My pride was hurt, ego bruised, and thoughts completely clouded. Another person on my team was let go that day - so I grabbed her and we headed out. Since I could not drink, the only thing that would make me feel better was cupcakes. Specifically, Sweet Mandy B's cupcakes.
Now, realistically and intellectually, I knew everything would be ok. With severance and the vacation days I had not taken I would be paid through my due date. And my maternity leave was pretty much unpaid - so HR Lady from NY was right - I could apply for unemployment which would give us some income when we had already expected not to get income. However, I was scared, hurt, and demoralized. And, the cherry on top was the fact that I had to get up the next morning and every weekday morning for the next 6 weeks and go to that job. So after some long talks with Josh, pep talks from my incredible family, and a few cupcakes, I went to bed and ended this terrible day.
The next morning I went to work, on time, like the typical "good girl" that I am. The first thing I saw was the Friday breakfast calendar. Our office rotated who was responsible for bringing breakfast to the Friday status meetings. Lately, these "informative" meetings have been dedicated to planning the holiday party - debating which would be more fun, The 80's Prom or Tony and Tina's Wedding. My vote was neither. As luck would have it, my turn was the Friday after this one. So I wrote a polite note to the person in charge of the calendar, copying M, saying that I would not be participating in the meetings any more and she should reassign breakfast to someone else. I just did not think it was necessary nor appropriate.
The thought of missed donuts sent M directly to my office. He was angry. Why did I think it was appropriate for me not to participate in these meetings for the next 6 weeks? I was supposed to be functioning as a full staff member and he did not want me to become a "cancer" in the office. I told him that I was still angry - too angry to actually speak to him. He did not seem to understand why I was angry and said that I had today to be angry, but then I had to get over it. If I did not, then they would have to rethink the terms of my separation package. Hmm, was he threatening me? I think so. Did he really expect me to be fine with everything 24 hours after he let me go? I suppose so - this is the man who after I told him that I was pregnant responded "well, I am getting a divorce."
With Josh's help (who besides being my best friend is a fabulous writer, especially when it comes to letters), I carefully crafted an email to HR Lady from NY asking her for some of the terms in writing and then describing the morning's altercation to her. She called me, we talked for a bit and then she said that she would speak to M for me. I told her that I really had no idea what my responsibilities were and I did not feel comfortable going to M at this point to talk to him.
After a day of trying to sort through my office, HR Lady from NY got back to me. She spoke to M and it was determined that this was an uncomfortable situation. Therefore, I did not need to report to work starting tomorrow, I would still be paid through Nov 14, I would still get severance, and would still be paid for my unused vacation days.
So kids, that is how I became a housewife - something I never, ever imagined I would be.
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